Much has happened since Jesus..... september? Damn I have goten bad about writing. But writing in general, not specifically blogging, is part of a... not New Years resolution... cause I think they are shit, but part of a goal I am setting for myself. I really do like writing, letters, blogs, emails. In a way, writing has always been my preferred form of communication. I can be clearer with my thoughts.
Sooo... I just got back from Asia. I had two weeks holiday to use and some things to do in Hong Kong. So I went to Hong Kong and Thailand and sat on the beach and thought about things.
See... my contract is up with the circus at the end of Jan. Yeah. So I am officially out of work at the end of Jan. In some ways I am super excited about it and I'm glad in a way that I'll be forced to go do something else and have new experiences. So I am loosely coming up with some kind of plan now... but yeah keeping it loose.
So I went back to Hong Kong. And I will write more about this next time perhaps.
But basically I was shocked and surprised as to how I felt about returning. Basically I returned to this city which I loved... loved so much I really worked towards making it feasible for me to return to live... So I went to HK this city I adored filled with people I loved. And I found this... empty place? Where I thought all the love was? I don't know I really really used to love this place. And now to feel nothing. It's like waking up next to someone you have been with for a while who you love and going... what the hell...
Yeah... but then I left and sat on the beach for a week and now I feel better about it. My relationships with that city have changed I guess... it doesn't feel like a potential home.
Don't get me wrong. Hong Kong is one of my favorite cities in the world. And actually as I was sitting on a friend's terrace my last night there drinking a beer and sharing some laughs before getting some thai street food... I thought yeah, this could be a home of sorts. But at this present moment... I would have to work too hard to be happy I think. And not that I am not into working hard.... but I have been working pretty hard to be happy for a while. And I am ready for things to be a bit easier.
More on this later. I am in the Toronto airport at the moment and beyond exhausted with a 3 hour flight and about 50 hour work week in front of me. Yikes.
Soul searching is wonderful. xoxoxo
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